When problems arise in your life, do you ever imagine what it would be like to be a queen? (I have to admit, occasionally I still do…) Wouldn’t it be great if everyone in your world had to do your bidding? It’s definitely tempting to believe that life would be so much better if people simply did everything we told them to do. That’s what makes being a queen such a great daydream.
Then reality hits—and I remember that in real life none of us can make anyone do anything.
It wasn’t always so easy to snap myself out of this daydream. Too often, I found myself thinking that the best way to fix some problem I had was to fix everyone else involved. That had me pointing my finger at those “other people” who “created” the problem in the first place. Those thoughts lead me down a very slippery slope—using a phrase that only kept me stuck in the problem. There were years in my life when this phrase had a lot of power. Maybe you’ve even used it yourself: “If only.”
Now I can tell you from experience that the words “If only” are crippling to our success. These words lead us down a garden path of excuses. Yes, it’s true—they can be fun to explore and discuss! At the end of the day, though, we find ourselves in the same place we started. Despite all that discussion, nothing has changed.
Using the phrase “If only” certainly feels like the perfect springboard for trying to fix someone else. How many times have you heard yourself say things like:
If only she hadn’t…
If only he’d…
If only they’d listen…
Although it can take a rude awakening to discover it, we soon find out that these are empty phrases that get us nowhere. So, what can we do instead?
Our first step is to admit that saying “If only” is simply a tactic we use to blame everyone else for the situation in which we find ourselves. Our next step it to decide to shift our focus to what we can do instead. This Simple Shift™ is all it takes to move us off the path of excuses and onto the path of success.
As always, you don’t have to take my word for it. I invite you to try it for yourself. Find out how with our Monthly Practice.
Learn more simple shifts that will change your world—try Move Into Your Power® for free today.